Things I have learned from my cat:
- Sometimes it's ok to be retarded.
- Being aloof isn't rude, it's a way to keep interest and make people want your attention.
- There's nothing wrong with claiming someone else's spot as your own, especially if it's already warm.
- When in doubt, look adorable.
- All you need to get your point across is the right murderous glare.
- The cheapest toys are always the most entertaining.
- Talking with your mouth full is merely multitasking.
- There is always a way to get into the food bin.
- Patience is a virtue; using it to scare the shit out of someone never gets old.
- Anyone can come when called, but showing up at the most inconvenient times is an art-form.
- Lint roller companies will never go out of business.
- Nothing small and put away is safe from prying paws.
- One doesn't have to be intoxicated to make strange sounds in the night.
- Freeloading is easy and has many rewards.
- If one is in need of alone time, it never fails to become a screaming ball of on-end fur with teeth and claws.
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