Phone Manners

To be perfectly honest, as a receptionist I get very tired of  the phone, and this post is dedicated to the jack*sses that waste my time on the phone. The following are phone manners pet peeves:

1) When you call my clinic, hear my entire phone greeting and all I hear is *click* instead of an apology for the wrong number. This is infuriating. I have taken time out of my busy schedule to focus on you and you can't even give me an apology for a simple mistake? What, are you embarrassed??

2) If I answer the phone and ask you to please hold, I expect you to say you can or that you'll call back. I do not ask you to hold just to see how long you'll wait for me to get back to you, so please don't gush, "I just have a quick question!" My asking you to hold means I do not have time at the moment for a quick question due to other clients that were seeking help ahead of you, please do not deny them their place in line.

3) For those of you that think it's funny to just say silent when I pick up your phone call, just be glad I can't reach through the phone and strangle you.

4) If you call to ask a "quick" question or set up an appointment, I expect you to be brief. My assumption - and silly me for thinking this - is that if you don't have time to come down to the clinic to do so, then you must have other things to get to. That said, I DO NOT want nor have time to hear your entire life story, or the entire life story of your pet. Yes, Fifi having some blood in her stool is important, but her sticking her tongue out of her mouth for fourteen years is not. I have better things to do than sit at my desk on the phone with you trying to get you to quit talking and hang up politely while a line forms of clients waiting to be helped. Yes, I understand you love your pet and you think their quirks are cute, however I am being paid to help people and not to listen to stories of every pet you've had being compared to the one you have now. Phone calls to businesses are to be brief if they're not a phone conference, please keep this in mind so I don't feel the need to throw the telephone across the lobby.

5) For this one I have to ask: Why, in God's name, would you spend thirty minutes telling me your life story at the front desk, knowing full well that people are waiting to be helped and you're stopping them, only to point at the phone I'm trying to answer without being rude and say, "You should probably get that." To this I have to say: No sh*t, Sherlock! This is my top pet peeve of clients. There are no words to describe how effing rude this is. Not only are you blocking my clients from getting the assistance they're there for, but you're also preventing me from answering the phone and then telling me how to do my job. Argh!

6) To the clients that call to check on their pet every twenty minutes, when I say we will call you when we're done, I mean it. I don't lie and say that just to appease you, so please have some restraint and faith that we will keep you informed. If you're really that nervous, then please accept my offer to come visit your pet. If you decline, then you're likely to end up with me being aggravated and somewhat more rude with each call.

7) My last pet peeve with phone manners is people that don't know what they're calling for, spell it really fast, and do a lot of, "Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm, lemme see here..." Please know what you're calling for when you phone your vet clinic. By not knowing you waste our and your time, especially when you're spelling something very fast and we have to ask you several times to repeat it. This is extremely  frustrating.

For those of you that made it through this whole thing, we appreciate your cooperation and kindness in adjusting your phone manners to not do this to your local vet clinic employee. We do our best to be efficient, polite, and get things done in a timely manner. The behaviors listed above are time consuming and prevent the staff from doing their jobs, making them look like unintelligent morons when they are, in fact, very intelligent people. Thank you kindly for your respect towards us!