I feel as if this blog has become a rant section, however I'm unsure that I care. The last few weeks have been extremely frustrating, and a lot of it has to do with a lack of our clients ready the postings in the clinic that we put up specifically for them. Examples are as follows:
Office Hours - It is clearly posted within the clinic, on our website, business cards, and outgoing voice mail message as to what our hours are. Please do not knock on the doors and demand to be let in if the doors are locked and we have closed for the evening. I'm sorry you didn't make it in time to drop off/pick up for boarding, that is not our problem anymore. Oh, you called in your pet's medication and need to pick it up now because they're out? This excuse makes me feel the need to ask why you waited until your pet was out of medication to call in a refill when we require a 24 hour notice so as to ensure accuracy and be able to notify you of any changes or diagnostics needed. For those evenings when we've closed and not had a chance to lock the door due to clients still being in the building from us running late, please do not just waltz in the door with a sh*t-eating grin on your face. We have left the door unlocked for clients to leave, not for your lazy arse to come in and make us stay even later. We do have homes we'd like to go to, you know.
Doctor's Hours - Before you ask, no, this is not the same thing as office hours. Our clinic policy is that our doctors are seen by appointment only, unless it is an emergency. We have an appointment calendar for a reason, and when you decide it's a good idea to just plop your dog in the car and bring him in for us to update his vaccines without even bothering to give us a call, you put us behind schedule. Now, not only are the clients that were considerate enough to book a time to be seen going to be seen late, but you're also going to get angry and frustrated that we can't see you immediately. Especially when you come during our time set aside specifically for the staff to get lunches and our surgical patients taken care of. If you have the balls to do this, you have no right to get snippy with us, so please keep your snarky comments to yourself, 'cause the more rude you are as a walk-in the more we'll charge you. Oh, and that walk-in fee? You can bet your a*s that's going to be on there, too.
Holiday Hours - Surprise! Just because we're a vet clinic, doesn't mean we stay open on all holiday for your convenience. Major holidays such as July 4th, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and all those others everyone that doesn't work in food service gets off of work means most of our staff gets those days off too! The only people we have there is a skeleton staff to take care of the kennels, which means NO you cannot pick up or drop off your dog for boarding on those days. We take the time to post a notice on our front door to inform you of this in advance, so don't make yourself out to be an idiot by trying to get us to unlock the door for you when we're closed. We have families that we want to see, and we'd like to get off shift on time. Have some respect.
Staff Meeting Hours - Again, the days and hours of our staff meetings are posted for all clients to see. Our staff meetings are not just parties - though sometimes they seem like it - but are for staff education. This is for YOUR benefit! By coming to pick up your pet's medication - that can wait another hour - in the middle of our staff meeting, you are detracting from our education and benefits for your pet. During our staff meetings we turn our phones over to voice mail so that the phone will not disturb us from learning. Yes, we check messages immediately following dismissal from the meeting, and will call you back, so please don't leave a message with a lot of attitude stating that you don't know why we have that message because you know we're open. To that I have to say, turn your ears on and realise that we will make time for you when we have time for you.
I understand that as a vet clinic it seems like we're here to wait on you hand and foot, however that's not the case. We provide a service to you and your pet to keep them healthy, and we offer a variety of hours for your convenience. Please DO NOT try to get away with stupid things as listed above and in previous entries. We take a lot of time to give the best care we can, and it's not easy. Clients that don't respect our policies and are rude about them only make it that much more difficult. I'd say if you don't like it, then to find another clinic, but every clinic has its own policies. Without those policies a clinic cannot function. And, no, there will be no veterinary anarchy, but nice try.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Phone Manners
To be perfectly honest, as a receptionist I get very tired of the phone, and this post is dedicated to the jack*sses that waste my time on the phone. The following are phone manners pet peeves:
1) When you call my clinic, hear my entire phone greeting and all I hear is *click* instead of an apology for the wrong number. This is infuriating. I have taken time out of my busy schedule to focus on you and you can't even give me an apology for a simple mistake? What, are you embarrassed??
2) If I answer the phone and ask you to please hold, I expect you to say you can or that you'll call back. I do not ask you to hold just to see how long you'll wait for me to get back to you, so please don't gush, "I just have a quick question!" My asking you to hold means I do not have time at the moment for a quick question due to other clients that were seeking help ahead of you, please do not deny them their place in line.
3) For those of you that think it's funny to just say silent when I pick up your phone call, just be glad I can't reach through the phone and strangle you.
4) If you call to ask a "quick" question or set up an appointment, I expect you to be brief. My assumption - and silly me for thinking this - is that if you don't have time to come down to the clinic to do so, then you must have other things to get to. That said, I DO NOT want nor have time to hear your entire life story, or the entire life story of your pet. Yes, Fifi having some blood in her stool is important, but her sticking her tongue out of her mouth for fourteen years is not. I have better things to do than sit at my desk on the phone with you trying to get you to quit talking and hang up politely while a line forms of clients waiting to be helped. Yes, I understand you love your pet and you think their quirks are cute, however I am being paid to help people and not to listen to stories of every pet you've had being compared to the one you have now. Phone calls to businesses are to be brief if they're not a phone conference, please keep this in mind so I don't feel the need to throw the telephone across the lobby.
5) For this one I have to ask: Why, in God's name, would you spend thirty minutes telling me your life story at the front desk, knowing full well that people are waiting to be helped and you're stopping them, only to point at the phone I'm trying to answer without being rude and say, "You should probably get that." To this I have to say: No sh*t, Sherlock! This is my top pet peeve of clients. There are no words to describe how effing rude this is. Not only are you blocking my clients from getting the assistance they're there for, but you're also preventing me from answering the phone and then telling me how to do my job. Argh!
6) To the clients that call to check on their pet every twenty minutes, when I say we will call you when we're done, I mean it. I don't lie and say that just to appease you, so please have some restraint and faith that we will keep you informed. If you're really that nervous, then please accept my offer to come visit your pet. If you decline, then you're likely to end up with me being aggravated and somewhat more rude with each call.
7) My last pet peeve with phone manners is people that don't know what they're calling for, spell it really fast, and do a lot of, "Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm, lemme see here..." Please know what you're calling for when you phone your vet clinic. By not knowing you waste our and your time, especially when you're spelling something very fast and we have to ask you several times to repeat it. This is extremely frustrating.
For those of you that made it through this whole thing, we appreciate your cooperation and kindness in adjusting your phone manners to not do this to your local vet clinic employee. We do our best to be efficient, polite, and get things done in a timely manner. The behaviors listed above are time consuming and prevent the staff from doing their jobs, making them look like unintelligent morons when they are, in fact, very intelligent people. Thank you kindly for your respect towards us!
1) When you call my clinic, hear my entire phone greeting and all I hear is *click* instead of an apology for the wrong number. This is infuriating. I have taken time out of my busy schedule to focus on you and you can't even give me an apology for a simple mistake? What, are you embarrassed??
2) If I answer the phone and ask you to please hold, I expect you to say you can or that you'll call back. I do not ask you to hold just to see how long you'll wait for me to get back to you, so please don't gush, "I just have a quick question!" My asking you to hold means I do not have time at the moment for a quick question due to other clients that were seeking help ahead of you, please do not deny them their place in line.
3) For those of you that think it's funny to just say silent when I pick up your phone call, just be glad I can't reach through the phone and strangle you.
4) If you call to ask a "quick" question or set up an appointment, I expect you to be brief. My assumption - and silly me for thinking this - is that if you don't have time to come down to the clinic to do so, then you must have other things to get to. That said, I DO NOT want nor have time to hear your entire life story, or the entire life story of your pet. Yes, Fifi having some blood in her stool is important, but her sticking her tongue out of her mouth for fourteen years is not. I have better things to do than sit at my desk on the phone with you trying to get you to quit talking and hang up politely while a line forms of clients waiting to be helped. Yes, I understand you love your pet and you think their quirks are cute, however I am being paid to help people and not to listen to stories of every pet you've had being compared to the one you have now. Phone calls to businesses are to be brief if they're not a phone conference, please keep this in mind so I don't feel the need to throw the telephone across the lobby.
5) For this one I have to ask: Why, in God's name, would you spend thirty minutes telling me your life story at the front desk, knowing full well that people are waiting to be helped and you're stopping them, only to point at the phone I'm trying to answer without being rude and say, "You should probably get that." To this I have to say: No sh*t, Sherlock! This is my top pet peeve of clients. There are no words to describe how effing rude this is. Not only are you blocking my clients from getting the assistance they're there for, but you're also preventing me from answering the phone and then telling me how to do my job. Argh!
6) To the clients that call to check on their pet every twenty minutes, when I say we will call you when we're done, I mean it. I don't lie and say that just to appease you, so please have some restraint and faith that we will keep you informed. If you're really that nervous, then please accept my offer to come visit your pet. If you decline, then you're likely to end up with me being aggravated and somewhat more rude with each call.
7) My last pet peeve with phone manners is people that don't know what they're calling for, spell it really fast, and do a lot of, "Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm, lemme see here..." Please know what you're calling for when you phone your vet clinic. By not knowing you waste our and your time, especially when you're spelling something very fast and we have to ask you several times to repeat it. This is extremely frustrating.
For those of you that made it through this whole thing, we appreciate your cooperation and kindness in adjusting your phone manners to not do this to your local vet clinic employee. We do our best to be efficient, polite, and get things done in a timely manner. The behaviors listed above are time consuming and prevent the staff from doing their jobs, making them look like unintelligent morons when they are, in fact, very intelligent people. Thank you kindly for your respect towards us!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Human Obedience Is Recommended
To all the pet owners out there, I would just like to say that your cooperation, understanding, liberal use of manners, and - above all - honesty is well appreciated by your veterinarian's staff. This is specifically to two women and one man (separate clients) that were extremely rude when coming in.
To Ms. Headup Herbutt:
I apologize that your only transaction was for a euthanasia in 2007, and that we inactivate all files of clients that haven't been seen in over three years. While I was trying to be considerate and keep you informed of my findings in our system and kindly explain why it was taking me so long - you see, I had to make you a new file because yours was up in the attic and I didn't want you to wait for four hours while I hunted for it - you proceeded to ream me out because it is obviously my fault that you were, in fact, NOT seen in 2009. I so greatly appreciated you calling me a moron in front of eight other clients, though I have to say that my favorite part of dealing with you was the look on your face when I politely asked you to sit down and that I would help you when you could be a civilized adult. I understand that you had an appointment with us, however the grooms and doggy day cares I was checking out were regular clients that appreciate the services we provide. No, I do not want to see your check book register from 2009 that clearly states you went to the clinic across town with a similar name that is commonly confused with us, but I thank you for sharing. I promise to you that the next time you come in and I am playing receptionist, you will by God treat me with some respect or you will get no services. Oh, I can't do that, you say? Just ask my boss that owns the clinic, and if you have a problem with it, he will be more than glad to show you the door. We have other clients that appreciate and respect us for the work we do, we do not need to tolerate your insolence and flat out assholery for a few bucks.
To Ms. Nocash Poorliar:
I would just like to say that we were kind enough to see your HBC (hit by car) dog with minimal notice from you, and that lying to us is a poor way to repay our kindness. When you came in, I greeted you with a smile and honesty about our policies, to which you replied that Dr. Husband had approved a payment agreement with you because you are on disability. It is not uncommon for him to do so, however both he and I were confused and very displeased to learn that you had lied to us about that. After your dog's fracture repair surgery to fix her pelvis when it would have been cheaper for you to put her down - and probably better for her in the long run considering these circumstances - you signed a payment agreement with the understanding that you would pay X amount the following business day. X amount was never paid, yet you decided to come in for a recheck - that you, again, didn't pay one red cent for - and told our LVT (licensed vet tech) that Dr. Husband had approved you to not pay anything until the first of August. Apparently you assumed that we don't communicate with each other, as I was on the phone at the time with another client. You then left, only for me to call you twenty minutes later to call you out on your backhanded scheme to reward out generosity. Let me just say that I hope we take legal action against you for that kind of nonsense. It's not my fault you are on disability - which, by the way, I did not notice anything wrong with you that you couldn't most likely at least work from home - have four kids, and decided that getting a dog - which, SURPRISE! costs money - was a good idea. Please do not make excuses and lie to me about your bad decisions and expect me to have sympathy. Oh, I was rude to you on the phone the last time we had a chat? You want me to be polite and stop bugging you about payment? Pay your bill, and then there will be no more problems. Many thanks.
To Mr. Fillmy Petsrx:
I'm unsure as to why you were so rude to our new receptionist today. I understand that your pet is on Cureall antibiotic, and that you need a refill, however you didn't seem to understand that we couldn't fill it for you. This was not because we didn't want to, but because you had gotten Cureall prescribed by another veterinarian. Now, as my poor coworker - that you so rudely hung up on three separate times - tried to explain to you, this is a legal issue. In order to fill a prescription for you, it must be from one of OUR clinic vets, and one of OUR clinic vets must see the pet for the condition that you need Cureall for. I understand that an exam costs you money, and that you think that we're trying to suck you dry; however, this is not a, "Gimme all your money," situation. The law states that if you want US to fill an prescription, the medication MUST be prescribed by the vet clinic filling it and the pet MUST have been seen by that vet clinic for THAT condition. We are a veterinary hospital, not a dispensery or pharmacy, though we have one. I'm unsure why that is so difficult to understand, however please do not take your frustration out on the staff of the clinic. If you have a problem with that particular law, please write your congressman. We thank you in advance for you cooperation, patience, understanding, and above all your apology to my coworker.
To Ms. Headup Herbutt:
I apologize that your only transaction was for a euthanasia in 2007, and that we inactivate all files of clients that haven't been seen in over three years. While I was trying to be considerate and keep you informed of my findings in our system and kindly explain why it was taking me so long - you see, I had to make you a new file because yours was up in the attic and I didn't want you to wait for four hours while I hunted for it - you proceeded to ream me out because it is obviously my fault that you were, in fact, NOT seen in 2009. I so greatly appreciated you calling me a moron in front of eight other clients, though I have to say that my favorite part of dealing with you was the look on your face when I politely asked you to sit down and that I would help you when you could be a civilized adult. I understand that you had an appointment with us, however the grooms and doggy day cares I was checking out were regular clients that appreciate the services we provide. No, I do not want to see your check book register from 2009 that clearly states you went to the clinic across town with a similar name that is commonly confused with us, but I thank you for sharing. I promise to you that the next time you come in and I am playing receptionist, you will by God treat me with some respect or you will get no services. Oh, I can't do that, you say? Just ask my boss that owns the clinic, and if you have a problem with it, he will be more than glad to show you the door. We have other clients that appreciate and respect us for the work we do, we do not need to tolerate your insolence and flat out assholery for a few bucks.
To Ms. Nocash Poorliar:
I would just like to say that we were kind enough to see your HBC (hit by car) dog with minimal notice from you, and that lying to us is a poor way to repay our kindness. When you came in, I greeted you with a smile and honesty about our policies, to which you replied that Dr. Husband had approved a payment agreement with you because you are on disability. It is not uncommon for him to do so, however both he and I were confused and very displeased to learn that you had lied to us about that. After your dog's fracture repair surgery to fix her pelvis when it would have been cheaper for you to put her down - and probably better for her in the long run considering these circumstances - you signed a payment agreement with the understanding that you would pay X amount the following business day. X amount was never paid, yet you decided to come in for a recheck - that you, again, didn't pay one red cent for - and told our LVT (licensed vet tech) that Dr. Husband had approved you to not pay anything until the first of August. Apparently you assumed that we don't communicate with each other, as I was on the phone at the time with another client. You then left, only for me to call you twenty minutes later to call you out on your backhanded scheme to reward out generosity. Let me just say that I hope we take legal action against you for that kind of nonsense. It's not my fault you are on disability - which, by the way, I did not notice anything wrong with you that you couldn't most likely at least work from home - have four kids, and decided that getting a dog - which, SURPRISE! costs money - was a good idea. Please do not make excuses and lie to me about your bad decisions and expect me to have sympathy. Oh, I was rude to you on the phone the last time we had a chat? You want me to be polite and stop bugging you about payment? Pay your bill, and then there will be no more problems. Many thanks.
To Mr. Fillmy Petsrx:
I'm unsure as to why you were so rude to our new receptionist today. I understand that your pet is on Cureall antibiotic, and that you need a refill, however you didn't seem to understand that we couldn't fill it for you. This was not because we didn't want to, but because you had gotten Cureall prescribed by another veterinarian. Now, as my poor coworker - that you so rudely hung up on three separate times - tried to explain to you, this is a legal issue. In order to fill a prescription for you, it must be from one of OUR clinic vets, and one of OUR clinic vets must see the pet for the condition that you need Cureall for. I understand that an exam costs you money, and that you think that we're trying to suck you dry; however, this is not a, "Gimme all your money," situation. The law states that if you want US to fill an prescription, the medication MUST be prescribed by the vet clinic filling it and the pet MUST have been seen by that vet clinic for THAT condition. We are a veterinary hospital, not a dispensery or pharmacy, though we have one. I'm unsure why that is so difficult to understand, however please do not take your frustration out on the staff of the clinic. If you have a problem with that particular law, please write your congressman. We thank you in advance for you cooperation, patience, understanding, and above all your apology to my coworker.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A Legitimate Excuse
Many of the clients I see as a receptionist are rather irritable when they come in. I mean, I'm the ditz that sits up front and asks all these questions that obviously have nothing to with the appointment they're there for - such as asking if a pet has had any coughing, sneezing, vomiting, or diarrhea, and what food they're on (it's important in cases of allergies, I swear!) - and waste their time so they don't get to see the vet right when they walk through the door. One client today, however, was very fidgety and seemed more irritable than the rest. He was very nice in explaining why he was in that kind of mood, though.
Me: I'm sorry it's taking so long, sir, but I have to go through all five of your dogs individually so the assistants and doctor can assess what's going on with whom and have a good idea what to do about it before going into the room so as not to waste your time.
Client: Oh, no, it's ok. It's not you, sweetie, I just quit cocaine cold turkey four days ago.
Me:...We'll get you going as soon as possible. *smile*
Me: I'm sorry it's taking so long, sir, but I have to go through all five of your dogs individually so the assistants and doctor can assess what's going on with whom and have a good idea what to do about it before going into the room so as not to waste your time.
Client: Oh, no, it's ok. It's not you, sweetie, I just quit cocaine cold turkey four days ago.
Me:...We'll get you going as soon as possible. *smile*
Native to America
One of the many things that irritates vet clinic staff is ignorant breeders. That is the top of the list, even above complete ignorance itself. However, on Friday we met the honorary place holder of Moron of the Decade for our clients. A woman came in with her dog that had given birth to one puppy two days before, had a still born the day before she came in, and ended up diagnosed with a retained puppy. The remedy? An emergency c-section/spay surgery. Now, what makes this so rich is that the woman was a single mother, had no spare money, and was actively breeding dogs, having nine of them at home, saying she had started a breed four years prior. I imagine she thought she was going to get rich off of this - which is a VERY common misconception; folks, I'm going to say it here and now: breeding dogs is NOT a way to make money - so she kept our staff waiting for forty-five minutes while she dealt with the grief of not being able to breed this poor dog. During the surgery the woman sat in the lobby while I played receptionist and prepared files for the next day and closed down that portion of the clinic for the night. I make it a habit to be considerate and try to make nice conversation for waiting clients, but this makes me almost reconsider:
Me: So, what breed are these guys?
Client: They're Native American Village Dogs. They're a combination of breeds native to North America, like husky, malamute, German shepherd....
Me: So, what breed are these guys?
Client: They're Native American Village Dogs. They're a combination of breeds native to North America, like husky, malamute, German shepherd....
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Oh No She Didn't
So, recently we've acquired a sixteen year old volunteer. This girl is probably the sweetest you will ever meet, unfortunately she just doesn't get it. I'm sure you all know what I mean, in that things just don't click. Like the fact that it's inappropriate to ask to see the dog being euthanized because she just wants to pet it, or that the fractious (unpredictably vicious/evil) cat that is waking up from sedation will try to eat her face if she continues to pet it and ask if it's going to be nice. Despite all of this, we've all made efforts to train her how to hold pets for various things - since her goal is to become a veterinarian at some point - which has been a failing effort.
A prime example of this is when our tech had this girl holding onto a tiny yorkie that is so well behaved you don't have to actually restrain her. All our tech was trying to do was get a fecal sample with a loop. As she's getting ready to use it, this happens:
Volunteer: Oh my God! *takes the dog off the table, puts it back in the cage, and walks out of the treatment area*
Tech: ...Oh no, she didn't.
Me: Would you like some mortar for that brick you're about to sh*t? 'Cause, uh, yes....Yes, she did.
A prime example of this is when our tech had this girl holding onto a tiny yorkie that is so well behaved you don't have to actually restrain her. All our tech was trying to do was get a fecal sample with a loop. As she's getting ready to use it, this happens:
Volunteer: Oh my God! *takes the dog off the table, puts it back in the cage, and walks out of the treatment area*
Tech: ...Oh no, she didn't.
Me: Would you like some mortar for that brick you're about to sh*t? 'Cause, uh, yes....Yes, she did.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Privileged Information
Forward: This blog features our associate veterinarian Dr. Paranoid, her alias based on the fact that she is exceptionally paranoid about her own dogs' health as well as many other things in the practice.
The ignorance of pet owners never ceases to amaze me. For some reason, owners will give information to the vet assistants that they won't give the receptionist, and give more information to the veterinarian than they will to the assistants. Let me just say that the questions we assistants ask aren't for the hell of it or to waste your time. The more information we can give to the veterinarian before they get in the room, the better the idea they have of what to look for and the more likely an accurate diagnosis will be given. Nothing is more infuriating than to hear an owner tell you one thing and then turn around and say something completely different to the doctor.
We had a small poodle come in today for North and South Syndrome - vomiting and diarrhea - that had been going on for about two days. When asked by the receptionist and myself, "Is there anything she may have gotten into that she shouldn't have? Has she possibly eaten anything that wasn't part of her regular diet?" the client answered very firmly that, no, her dog ONLY eats her own food. This was noted in the chart and I left to grab Dr. Paranoid to do the exam. This is the conversation that ensued:
Dr. Paranoid: *while palpating the dog's abdomen* So she hasn't gotten into anything she shouldn't have?
Client: No, she....Well, she ate part of a deer carcass a couple days ago. Could that upset her tummy?
Dr. Paranoid: ...Why, yes. Yes it can.
The ignorance of pet owners never ceases to amaze me. For some reason, owners will give information to the vet assistants that they won't give the receptionist, and give more information to the veterinarian than they will to the assistants. Let me just say that the questions we assistants ask aren't for the hell of it or to waste your time. The more information we can give to the veterinarian before they get in the room, the better the idea they have of what to look for and the more likely an accurate diagnosis will be given. Nothing is more infuriating than to hear an owner tell you one thing and then turn around and say something completely different to the doctor.
We had a small poodle come in today for North and South Syndrome - vomiting and diarrhea - that had been going on for about two days. When asked by the receptionist and myself, "Is there anything she may have gotten into that she shouldn't have? Has she possibly eaten anything that wasn't part of her regular diet?" the client answered very firmly that, no, her dog ONLY eats her own food. This was noted in the chart and I left to grab Dr. Paranoid to do the exam. This is the conversation that ensued:
Dr. Paranoid: *while palpating the dog's abdomen* So she hasn't gotten into anything she shouldn't have?
Client: No, she....Well, she ate part of a deer carcass a couple days ago. Could that upset her tummy?
Dr. Paranoid: ...Why, yes. Yes it can.
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